God sent.

**WARNING: Before reading this post please recognize this is my blog. I can say what I want even if you don't agree. You can comment. You can think I am a bad person. But it's cathartic and I feel what I feel, I am who I am. Read on if you care too.**

I had one of "those days" yesterday at the end of "one of those weeks". I had only gotten 2-3 hours of sleep the night before, had bills coming in that seemed to be on par with the average game show winnings, a job I was frustrated with, a husband I wanted to kick in the head and two kids who needed an evening of entertainment. I should mention that Todd had surgery yesterday - it was nothing MAJOR - but it's still surgery and he's in pain. And I understand that.

But we grew up very different - his mom is a nurse. She was literally paid to take care of sick people. In my house you kind of shook it off. If you had a cold you took some medicine, pocketed a few cough drops and went about your tasks. If you were in pain you took a few Advil. I don't want you near me when I am sick - not anybody. I want to sleep when I can and take medications the rest of the time and that's it. Even when I came home from having the kids I was back up doing laundry and cooking and what not. So I suck at being a nurse is what I am telling you. And when it's been one of those weeks where we just don't get along it's even harder. I know I am in the wrong here. I know that I appear uncaring - its not that. I care. I just show it different.

That being said I write this to share the positive not the negative. I spent much of my day yesterday on the verge of tears or in tears. But here is what I learned. God has put amazing people in my life - and he sends in those people when I need them the most. When my brother found someone to marry he did me the hugest favor - he found me the sister I always wanted. I have other sister-in-laws, and they are lovely. And some I get along with really well because we have a lot in common (Hi Laurie!) but distance is an issue. But Taylor is near, she is my friend. She is the person I would pick in a class or at work to hang out with. And then she became my sister and she is amazing. She is a sounding board and a support and I am so so thankful God placed her in my life. And then I got emails from friends at church, and a long time friend who moved far away but still is "there" when I need her (Hi Lyndsay!). And then a simple facebook comment on some photos I posted of a baby I took pics of not that long ago.

And I realized that sometimes....sometimes, all we need is a shot of positive in the negative. I read somewhere how powerful light is...that darkness is not even its own entity, but rather the absence of light. And that in the dark light will always shine, the darkness cannot cover it, surround it yes, but never cover it.

When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said" I am the light of the world.
Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life."
John 8:12

The bills are still there, my job is still stressful, Todd and I are not yet on the same page and he is still in pain...but there is light at the end of the tunnel. The bills will get paid, my job will get better, Todd and I will figure it out, and I will try harder to show care the way he wants me to. So today, today will be a better day.